The decision to get a divorce isn’t one you take lightly. Knowing when a divorce is really the best option for you and your family is difficult and takes due consideration. These eight signs that it’s time to divorce may help you and your partner establish if divorce is right for you.
- You’ve Disconnected
Couples whose marriages are over often experience a disconnection from one another or an “uncoupling.” No longer spending time with one another, doing things separately, spending all your time at work, or spending more time with friends or online than with each other are all signs one or both of you have disengaged from your marriage. If spending time with your spouse is no longer enjoyable or it’s a relief not to be together, it may be time to make a change.
- You’re Only Together for the Kids
Staying together “for the kids” or until your kids leave the house may not be as beneficial for your children as you think. It may feel like you’re doing what’s best for your kids, but they can most likely see your unhappiness. Getting a divorce can make both you and your spouse lead better lives, ultimately making your children happier. Staying together for the wrong reasons will do more damage than good.
- Counseling Doesn’t Help
Counseling is always a good thing to try before deciding it’s really time to divorce. Marriage counseling can bring you and your spouse back together and help you sort through difficult problems. However, if you’ve tried counseling and it didn’t bring you back together, you can both let yourselves admit that it’s time to live apart. Sometimes relationships simply don’t work no matter how hard you try.
- You’re Suffering Abuse
No one should have to put up with emotional, mental, or physical abuse from a spouse or anybody else. If you’re a victim of domestic violence or abuse, it’s time to divorce. If you need help leaving an abusive relationship, visit the California courts domestic violence help page. Abusive situations are dangerous for you and your children. Seek help immediately and file for a divorce.
- Your Values Differ
If you reach a point with your spouse where your core values are completely different from one another, you may never be able to return to a place of common ground. Initially, you may have been able to look past differing values, but as time passes, you may find your belief systems are at odds, which creates a chasm between you and your spouse that you can’t move past.
- There’s Been Unfaithfulness
Some couples manage to move past an incidence of cheating, but if you or your spouse is a serial cheater or fell in love with someone else, there’s no going back to the way things were. An affair can be either a physical or emotional relationship. If one of you is cheating, you both deserve the respect of getting a divorce.
- Your Needs Aren’t Met
If you’re stuck in a one-sided relationship where your spouse isn’t doing his or her part to fulfill your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs, you owe it to yourself to seek a divorce. Marriage only works if there’s a partnership. If your spouse is unwilling to change or compromise to make your marriage work, there may be no hope for your future as a happy couple.
- You’re Emotionally Exhausted
A marriage should be a source of happiness and joy. If the bad times consistently outnumber the good, leaving you emotionally exhausted, your only option may be to file for a divorce. If you or your partner has given up or emotionally checked out, it’s best for both of you to divorce.